Meditative Diaries

TO LIVE IS TO DIE

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A dialogue on self observation

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The previous diary was exploring the possibility of observing the movement of the Ego (self observation) from its very begininning, before words/thoughts and emotions appear which seems to end the whole movement immediately. Cristina contacted me in order to find if this was something I had experienced or if it was just a theoritical idea. She was searching for a method, a way, a “how to” achieve something like that. I pointed out that searching for a “how” makes it inevitable to happen. This is a part of the dialogue: Continue reading →

How thought shatters the Ego to multiple fragments

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What is this thing we call Ego? It seems its essentially that sense that there is a Me and a You, that i am different, divided, separate psychologically from other people.  A friend just pointed out that the Ego is born the very moment we characterize our self.  The writer would like to notice the Ego is when we even feel there is a Self (which implies division, separation). This is the essence of Ego. And how is the Ego expressed? Τhe manifestation of the Ego is a movement towards pleasure/safety and away from pain/displeasure/uncertainty, in order that this Self is kept satisfied, secure.. Continue reading →

The brutality of trying to change someone for one’s own good

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The fact: We found a little cat (15-day old) almost 8 months ago. She was close to death. We took her in our home and after a period of one month she (we call her Tsitsos) was completely healthy. After a few months we found that Tsitsos couldn’t accept to exist in the same place with another cat. And this made us nervous, anxious about her. We worried if she will enjoy her life if not able to accept another cat, to play with her, to share tenderness etc. And we made this fact a problem. Continue reading →

… and then came the words

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There is an object! This object is completely unknown. To see this unknown, alive, new object doesn’t require any identification, any intellectual movement, any word to be told or thought… There is also a feeling. This feeling is completely unknown. To sense/see this unknown, alive, new feeling doesn’t require the intellect to work.. yet the intellect doesn’t remain still. Continue reading →

To do something for the joy of it

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People (including the writer) are used to do something driven by the desire to achieve an upper goal.. its very rare that someone does something for the joy of it, with no motives hidden behind that. This is a habitual approach to life for most of us, is it not?

People have yoga in order to achieve an attractive figure instead of having yoga because they enjoy this delicate art. They approach other people in order for socialization, for avoiding the sense of loneliness, instead of just approaching people for the joy of relating. Continue reading →

Is grief for the loss of a closed one an action of love or its just self pity?

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A few months ago the writer had an insight on death.. actually it was an insight on living and dying. The writer found that to live is to die. Today, after an incident that happened, I would like to delve into this intense pain and grieving that is following the death of a beloved one. There is a common belief that we grieve for the one we used to love and is now dead. We will show this is not the case, that this grieving has nothing to do with love! Continue reading →

The Story of the Blacknailed Hand

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A new blacknailed hand was born and there was joy. The hand had no worries. It was playing all the time, laughing, running up and down, enjoying its time with its friends. Someday it noticed two other hands were looking weirdly at its black nail. The hand was surprised but it decided to pay no extra attention and it continued playing carelessly. A few years later it came that night of the huge protest of the non blacknailed hands against the inferior blacknailed hands. This made our blacknailed hand worry more. A feeling of guilt was planted in its heart. Our formerly happy hand was now in confusion, anxious, in a constant struggle to hide its black nail. Even its parents weren’t approving of his black nail, while newspapers were publishing dozens of articles that were justifying scientifically the inferiority and abnormality of black nailed hands. Continue reading →