The writer wonders whether we ever observe the movement of thought once in a situation of pain, disease. Looking around us we see that pain, health complications, diseases, are usually a source of stress, anxiety and when a health issue is really dangerous it brings vast sorrow. I would like to investigate whether there is a positive feedback between the luck of awareness and the intensity of disease, of pain. Some will say, “oh stop with these silly metaphysics”.. I doubt if this is a question that has anything to do with mysterious forces or something like that. Let’s find out.
To delve into this question probably we should ask whether there is a connection between body, mind, thoughts and emotions like stress, fear, anxiety etc. All such emotions are not coming alone.. it is always a thought that fires them, isn’t it? And thoughts are obviously deriving from the mind. So I have a body symptom like fever for two days and then the mind create a thought like “why is this fever happening for a 3rd consecutive day – when will it stop?” This thought fires the emotion of anxiety and also promotes a chain of other thoughts like “should i worry?” or “is something serious happening to me” or “maybe is this dangerous birds flu” etc. All such thoughts bring about more emotions. Now these emotions have a direct body effect while they are always connected with body changes like hormones secretion etc.. so it seems obvious that all these factors are rather a unity than separate entities.
After making that clear we come to the question asked in the beginning of this diary. Do we ever watch the thoughts and emotions that follow pain and disease? Are we aware of the stress that is involved, the fear that something bad may happen, the impatience to fully recover? I am suffering from dyspnoea and in every breath i take probably there is a really discrete, delicate, almost unconscious thought like “thanks God, i was able to breathe this time, what will happen next”.. if such emotions are not observed, are not fully understood they will necessary affect the body leading to deterioration of the pain or disease. It seems that people tend to escape from such emotions by means of occupying the mind with something pleasant, or by trying to convince themselves everything is ok etc. So probably such escape makes a disease much worse.
The last time i had a disease was 12 months ago.. it was a tough cold and though i was taking a few medicines I wasn’t able to recover. Then, unexpectedly, while being in a mood of frustration and anxiety regarding my disease, i lay down in my sofa just not doing anything.. though i wasn’t conscious of that, a complete negation of every effort to escape from this unpleasant situation took place.. 60′ later all anxiety was over, there was peace and the very next morning almost all symptoms were gone.. 12 months later, i felt pain in the throat (which signals a new cold) and immediately stress appeared.. again being effortlessly in a state of awareness, this feeling of peace and tranquility came and the very next morning everything was fine..
PS: Don’t misunderstand, i don’t imply awareness cures malady.. i also don’t question the potential of right drugs or a good doctors. I just point out the connection between stress and disease.. nothing metaphysical is implied here!