max greene wrote:
The problem is that there is no entity able to do these things. There is no entity with awareness, there is simply awareness itself. Once there is an “I” or a “we” who wants “to be totally free,” the game is up. Freedom is in the awareness itself, and under no other condition.
Don’t know why these words appeared to be so true. But once we see their truth, many other things become evident. Once there is no “I am aware”, there is not “someone” like Me or You to be Aware, there is not such thing as a conscious movement, a conscious effort, a choice of the physical individual to be aware. Any conscious effort, any choice comes from this egotistic center (the Ego, the Me) which is limited so it can’t bring total, actual awareness (it seems obvious that something partial can’t lead to total/absolute perception). Such effort, such choice, is essentially another desire, another goal to achieve, another thought, like the thoughts we are supposed to be aware of. In other words thought (such as “I need to be aware of my thoughts”) can’t be actually aware of other thoughts, it’s just one extra link in the chain of thoughts. Awareness is something completely different.
Now having seen the truth of that, not intellectually, not verbally (we’ve seen words are necessary dualistic right here) we abandon any conscious effort to be aware.. we don’t even say “now be attentive, be aware”, we are not interested in something like that. So what happens then.. i am not interested anymore in trying to be aware. Desire ceases and then something extraordinary happens: actual awareness, a movement independent of the Me, arises. On its light the vanity of thought, of the Self, of the Ego, is revealed and the Self dissolves, dissappears. It seems Awareness was always there, a timeless energy, always present and thinking/desire/ambition was fighting hard to suppress it. Once all these cease naturally – there is not the slightest sense of suppresion-, then awareness is. We could say this absolute awareness is a perfect psychological death (when all thoughts die the moment they rise) which is life (to live is to die, every single day). This awareness is freedom, which is love, which is compassion, which is eternal joy. That is the art of meditation!
PS: There is nothing to prove here. We can’t prove anything and there is no need at all to prove anything. This would reduce this insight to a superficial verbalistic arguement. The depth must listen!