The occasion for this diary was a previous diary regarding my first contact with the field of non verbal along with a conversation with my beloved friend Antonis about observation.
Let’s take a hypothetical situation.. I just woke up.. i comfortably sit in my couch and drink a hot cup of coffee.. then the first conscious thought of the day appears.. “how beautiful it would be if i were in Berlin, instead of my home at Chios”. If this thought isn’t observed the very moment of its appearance, then it may lead to new thoughts like “So is it possible to go to Berlin pretty soon?” and then “Oh my God its so expensive to go there by plane” and “If i go, i have to stay at least 7 days” and “probably its too much to leave Vaso alone for 7 days” and “come on.. i need to go to Berlin” and “it feels really annoying to not fulfill my desires because of Vaso”.. i think it becomes pretty obvious how a simple, superficially unimportant thought may lead to chaos.. all these thoughts don’t imply something fundamentally true, its only the tricks of the self, i think we don’t need to get at it any further. Its also possible that the initial thought won’t lead to such an exhausting sequence of thoughts..
.. the thing is its quite easy to observe a thought like “how beautiful it would be if i were in Berlin instead of my home in Chios”. Its very easy because we’ve invested almost zero energy to this trivial, non repetitive thought. While its quite tough, almost impossible, to destroy the illusion that has to do with the thought “it feels really annoying to not fulfill my desires because of Vaso”.. this is a rather strong belief, that appears pretty often.. now look what happens once i am attentive enough to observe this initial thought.. it requires minimum energy to be passively, choicelessly, non aware of such thought.. being aware of this thought, the thought reveals its triviality. At the same moment our energy is given to attention rather than to the continuation of the sequence of thoughts, so awareness drains the energy of the initial thought, the thought dissolves and the possible sequence of thoughts that may lead to a chaotic breaks from the very first link.. isn’t it clear how much energy this saves? And if we are a bit attentive we will soon find that such trivial thoughts are appearing hundreds of times everyday. To be able to “catch” these rather painless thoughts even if they are not followed by a destructive sequence again saves tones of energy.
Isn’t it possible that this saving of energy may give us the strength to deal with, to face our strongest neuroses? We need to experiment with ourselves and see what happens.