So one relates with another and either one demands absolutely nothing or there is a rather discrete or much more obvious expectation from the other part of the relationship. Actually i don’t see how its possible for a deeply conditioned mind – a man that lives in this obviously sick society with parents that project their desires to their children, with a profoundly brutal educational system which enslaves students – to create no expectations at all.
So a question arises.. Is love a matter of giving and taking? Do we offer something to our partner and expect from him/her an equal offer? Do we offer affection and expect the same amount of affection, or an equal exchange in, let’s say, safety? Is love a marketplace where there is a currency between what each part offers? Or probably we are much more intellectual and say “no, there is no expectation at all, i have succeeded to eliminate all expectations”.. and deep inside expectations burn us and once they are not fulfilled there is immense pain, hurt, despair, sorrow and brutality?
There is a discussion i would like to share with you. A discussion between a mother and a son.
- Mother: Sometimes i feel sad, i wonder if your father really loves me.
- Son: Why you say that mom?
- Mother: He never says a sweet, tender word, he is not expressive.. that makes me wonder
- Son: Why you make a problem of this?
- Mother (obviously touched): We are together for so long and i have been always craving for a soft, tender movement from him, in vain
- Son: Why you made this desire so essential for your happiness?
- Mother (some tears appear): This is what I do for the ones i love, i treat them with affection, with caress.. if one is so distant how can one love? (..tears are falling..) But yesterday, after so many days that i was very sick i saw him crying for me and then I thought “probably he actually loves me” (.. emotion is intense, mother is crying)
- Son: Mother do you realize what you just said? Is what you felt that moment actual love? You felt secure, satisfied, the very moment he was suffering. Has this anything to do with love?
In the very next moment all drama, emotion, tears, disappeared completely! A light appeared in her eyes.. at least for a while.