Are we aware of the inner battle that takes place during a discussion, especially when the opinions of the debaters are different? Are we aware of the really painful emotion that something is in danger when we discuss with someone who doesn’t agree with our point of view? Are we aware of the emotion of satisfaction and safety we feel once there is absolute agreement? It seems these two reactions are the opposite sides of the same coin. Two people are sitting together discussing about a problem of life..
Recall all the qualities that rise during a conversation. Either we agree which means nothing is threatened. Our idea which is under investigation is absolutely safe while the other part confirms its right. Which gives energy to further attack all those who disagree with our point. There is a peculiar, brutal pleasure, we become aggresive, sarcastic, against those that don’t meet our view. On the other hand, once there is disagreement, there is a rise of all the opposite emotions like agony, anxiety. If we watch them carefully the moment this happens we will find out its a fear that is hidden below this anxiety. It seems most of the times we are not aware even of the superficial agony so its not possible to locate the fear. But if we are willing to observe, if we are serious at all, we will be able to reveal this fear and penetrate deeper.
I would like to ask this question, what is this that is in danger when arguing.. isn’t it the survival of a fixed idea that is in danger? I’ve created an idea and i invest energy on this idea, probably for years. Then there is a discussion and somebody threatens my idea. So there is fear because i am attached to this idea, my Ego needs this idea to be valid in order to feel safe. Ego doesn’t mind if this idea is completely false, inaccurate, the only thing that matters is to keep the idea safe. So it recruits all possible tricks, including sarcasm, aggression etc.
Two people are sitting together discussing about a problem of life. Is it possible for them to be aware of all this brutal game? Is it possible to realize that the only thing that is threatened is a false idea? Nothing of true value is in danger. Is there anything wrong in destroying a false idea? Or is it only bringing close to what is, to living in Now? So there is a discussion and a conditioned man resists, attacks, defend his idea. Once there is a moment of clarity, a gap before reacting (attacking, defending, resisting) its possible to be aware of the whole absurdity of the reaction.. probably then its possible to actually see fear, to understand it and then fear is not. And once fear is not there is a sense of absolute safety, nothing to be lost, the two discussers come naturally closer, as two friends, examining the problems of life, so as to find what is, free from their conflicting ideas. Then the discussers are not vulnerable to hurt. And then discussion is an art, an art full of love, which fires compassion. The two discussers care for each other, the possibility of hurt and fear is absent and then actual investigation, deeper penetration, finding out, is possible.. and then there is immense passion, beauty and joy..