Everyday i pass in front of a club of cancer patients. The title of the club is Hope. Before i was consciously aware that something is wrong with that there was always a strange feeling when watching this title.
Before accepting the traditional notion that hope is something good, before accepting that hope definitely helps we should investigate, if we are at all serious, whether that’s the case. I recall myself being constantly in a state of hoping.. hoping that a toxic relationship would get better, that nothing dangerous happens in a case where i faced health issues, that i will succeed in serious exams, that our business plans will succeed. Actually it seems that i was constantly hoping for something. So what is hope? Isn’t it a convenient escape from what is? Isn’t it that something challenging takes place and i want to make sure that this challenge will lead somewhere.. good?
Isn’t it this movement the essense of division? There is a fact (a challenge, a health issue, a broken relationship etc). Feeling uncomfortable with what this fact is (because it is quite painful) i need relief. Thought then takes charge and does the only thing it knows.. it utilizes Time… to create imaginary realities. So the past, a safe, pleasant past condition is projected by thought in the future. So i am sick and project a previous condition where i was enjoying a health body, or my relationship suffers and i recall the period where there was only attraction, magic, pure love hoping this will come back again. This projection is obviously division, it is this convenient, common escape from what is to what should be. This division seems to tear us in pieces and i would wonder whether its possible for a body that carries such a fragmented mind to be healthy, whole, holly.
So someone being in a constant state of hoping, one is in constant agony, expecting things to change, expecting a positive becoming. So no chance for the mind to rest, to enjoy things as they are, while this desire, this expectation is always active. So a cancer patient suffers from cancer.. This is what it is and hoping that things will change won’t affect the fact of the illness.. but sickness is not the only part of what is.. what is includes an extraordinarily beautiful shinny morning, a delicate touch of another person, a beautiful taste, a groovy music or a nice expression of a face. All these are parts of what is.. the one who hopes, works hard to delete all that consist “what is” projecting the only thing he cares for which is the hope that health will be restored. Do we see the utter futility, agony and pain that are necessarily involved in this movement? So these cancer patients that gather together hoping that their illness will be healed, seek relief, but actual, deep relief will never come because of the hope, because hope won’t ever cure the malady. At the same moment they abandon the beauty of each moment, the beauty of what is..
So this house of hope is probably a house of despair, probably hope is the opposite of despair, its just the other side of the coin, essentially hope is despair.. it seems we need neither hope nor despair in order to enjoy live.. it seems so urgent to find whether we can just negate them and stay with what is.