Right after the previous diary where i was discussing with my friend Stavroula about the nature of fear another discussion took place, unexpectedly revealing the tricks of the Ego, which made it clear how urgent it is to see this simple thing.. that the Observer is the Observed
- Margarita: Just read your dialogue on Fear. It somehow pinched me
- Jorge: What do you mean?
- Margarita: This fear.. i am very stressed about it this moment, i feel very tired because of it.. i feel i am its prey.. i don’t know, i feel very strange this moment.. i am angry with myself
- Jorge: You are this fear
- Margarita: Yes, we are the fear. I am angry because i realize many wrong things happen and i am not abandoning/fixing them.. i mean thoughts, habits etc.. why can’t I abandon them?
- Jorge: Why do you get angry? Who is this that gets angry?
- Margarita: The part of me that wants to move on, to evolve, to be free
- Jorge: Is this so?
- Margarita: I assume this is that gets angry? You say no?
- Jorge: If you look at it with a completely detached view i think you will smile!
- Margarita: Probably yes
- Jorge: Who is the one that gets angry? Who is disappointed?
- Margarita: I think this part of me i mentioned before
- Jorge: Ok.. now a naughty smile appeared in my face
- Margarita: What do you mean?
- Jorge: I have this smile because this cunning Self is so much crafty.
- Margarita: ??
- Jorge: Self is so sophisticatedly cunning to be able to make you think it is the most vital part of you..it convinces you that the Self is that wants to set itself free..
- Margarita: Oops
- Jorge: .. while the truth is it is the Self that wants to keep you tied
- Margarita: You made me tingle
- Jorge: I am tingling too.. its so cunning.. do you see it clearly that its the Ego that gets angry? Or you still feel its your.. real Existence?
- Margarita: Yes i see it that its the Ego.. i had also seen it before but there was resistence to accept it.. you spoke to my Ego more softly and this made it possible to admit it
- Jorge: So its not our Real Existence that gets angry, its the Ego that gets angry, which of course has created the object of anger.. look at the division, the contradiction.. So once the.. real Margarita (lets stick to this phrase for now) actually sees all these successive tricks of the Ego, is she angry anymore?
- Margarita: No but she is lost now, there is no anger anymore.. oops.. you will say again that its the Ego that is lost, no the real Margarita
- Jorge: Exactly, but it has no value what i will say, its important that you actually see it.
- Margarita: Quite, i am just monologizing, the questions were refering to me… oh look, there is no anger now, i am just embracing the Self, there is just joy and beauty now..
So there is a fact. There is Fear. I am prey of fear. I am fear. This is a fact. The Self, the Ego, the I, tries to escape the fact by creating a problem: “I should get rid of fear”. Then the Ego creates a second problem: “I am angry because i can’t get rid of fear but i shouldn’t be angry” . The Ego is Fear, the Ego is Anger. If the Ego doesn’t cease it is capable of creating dozens of extra layers of problems..
.. see the course of this movement: Its the Ego that separates itself into the Observer and the Observed, the Fear Maker and the Fear, the Anger Maker and the Anger, creating fragments eternally. The Ego becomes an actor that imagines it can act on Fear or Anger but this just can’t happen because it is itself that is Fear and Anger.. how can Fear act on Fear? I am Anger so i can’t stop Anger, anger can’t stop anger.. we need to see this simple thing..
Now the moment we actually see the Observer is not separate from the Observed, the Fear Maker is Fear, the Anger Maker is Anger extremely beautiful things happen because the Actor/Self abandons acting on the problems, the Self ceases and then Fear and Anger cease!